You’re curious about eloping, but your brain is probably spinning with questions:

Are you even allowed to bring guests?
Will it still feel like a wedding?
What do we actually DO all day?

Elopements are personalized, intentional wedding experiences that prioritize presence, emotional connection, and flexibility—whether it’s just the two of you or a few loved ones.

Here’s the truth: most of what you’ve been told about elopements is outdated, limiting, and honestly…kind of joy-killing.

Eloping doesn’t mean running away to the courthouse in secret anymore (unless that’s your dream, in which case, do it). It can be just as emotionally rich, celebratory, and real as any traditional wedding… just without the parts that don’t fit you.

Let’s debunk a few things—ten, to be exact—and open the door to some non-traditional wedding ideas that are way more fun.

10 Elopement Myths That Need to Die (And What’s Actually True)

You don’t have to hike six miles. You don’t have to keep it a secret. You don’t have to wear anything specific. You don’t have to go guest-free.

You get to choose!

And more than that? You deserve a wedding day that feels aligned—not just photogenic. One that feels like you in every sense: in pace, presence, and tone. That might mean sharing your vows barefoot at sunrise—or sleeping in, sipping coffee in your rental cabin, and wandering to a nearby overlook in the afternoon.

You’re not trying to recreate a traditional wedding on a smaller scale. You’re creating something new, with fewer rules and far more room to breathe.

Eloping isn’t a backup plan. It can be your bold first choice.

Myth #1: Elopements Are Only for Just the Two of You

Nope. While some couples crave a “just us” day, plenty include a few loved ones. Parents, siblings, best friends—it’s possible (and powerful) to bring people into the experience without losing intimacy—that’s the beauty of eloping with guests.

Some couples share vows in front of their closest circle, then sneak away for a private hike or sunset ceremony. Others host a weekend getaway with 8–12 guests. It’s not about numbers. It’s about emotional intention. Keep in mind these are just a small fraction of the ways you can include loved ones in your elopement experience; there’s so much nuance and personalization available here.

Myth #2: You Have to Hike to a Mountain Top

I love a dramatic vista—but depending on your (or your guests’) needs, accessibility and ease sometimes matter just as much as scenery.

You can, but you don’t have to hike for hours to elope somewhere stunning. Think coastal cliffs with a short walk, redwood groves five minutes from parking, private Airbnbs with forested backyards, or even your own home (yes, backyard weddings count).

Plenty of my couples choose places that feel immersive without requiring boots, altitude, or sweat. Sometimes that looks like a cliffside you can drive right up to. Sometimes it’s a quiet cove with no cell service, or a secluded home rental patio surrounded by redwoods. Most of the time, you can get the feeling of a nature elopement—without the physical exertion.

Bottom line: there’s no prize for distance. What matters is how it felt.

Myth #3: You Can’t Wear a Traditional or Dramatic Outfit

I definitely haven’t seen everything, but I have seen enough to know this: there’s no such thing as “too much” or “not enough” when it comes to elopement attire.

I’ve had a client wear a hand-dyed navy gown. Another had a funky maroon pocket square with a tiger print. A third wore a custom-embroidered black leather jacket. As for me? Seven layers of tulle that were rocking a “forest brown” ombré by the end of the day.

Your attire should match the energy you want to feel, not some imaginary dress code.

Myth #4: Elopements Are Less Special or Serious

You don’t need 200 guests to make it real. In my experience, it’s often the inverse: elopements often feel more real because there’s space to breathe and fully feel all of your emotions (especially without performance anxiety in front of an audience) and you aren’t rushing through a rigid checklist.

Myth #5: You Don’t Need a Photographer for an Elopement

I’m obviously biased here as a photographer, but this misconception hurts couples more than vendors.

Here’s what I’ve learned from specializing in elopements: when it’s just the two of you, there are no guests to retell the day later. No one else was there. Your photos become the memory—the way you’ll remember how it felt. Even with a highly curated guest list, photos become the way you share your experience with your broader circle later.

Plus, I’m not just here to snap pictures; I’m here to help you plan the whole experience.

From timelines to location scouting to last-minute weather pivots—I’ll be there from the first brainstorm to the final frame.

Myth #6: You Can’t Include Traditions

You absolutely can. And you get to decide which ones stay.

I’ve seen private first dances in a living room. More than one special dance. Toasts over a fancy candlelit meal. Ring blessings from parents. Donuts for two. Vow books read aloud again that night, just because.

You can walk down an aisle. You can both walk down the aisle. You can skip it altogether and pause mid-hike on a mountaintop if the spot speaks to you.

Whatever tradition means to you, you can carry it forward—or rewrite it entirely. That’s the beauty of designing with intention.

Myth #7: You Have to Do It in Secret

Secret elopements are valid—but not required.

Many couples announce their elopement ahead of time, include guests virtually, or plan post-elopement celebrations later. Sometimes a version of all three. Think backyard receptions, fancy dinners, or photo slideshows with wine and dessert. Years ago, one couple told me they “went on tour” with their photos to share them in small settings with loved ones (I’m still obsessed).

One of my couples FaceTimed their families after their ceremony with champagne in hand. Another sent photo albums to loved ones after they received their gallery. There are lots of ways to involve your closest people without it being an all-or-nothing thing.

Myth #8: You Can Plan It in a Week

Can you pull together an elopement in a week? Technically, yes. Will it feel rushed and stressful? Probably. Here’s why most couples benefit from 3-6 months of planning:

Elopements can look spontaneous (especially depending on how curated someone’s Instagram feed is, and what parts of reality they aren’t showing), but the ones that feel the most aligned involve some breathing room. Room to dream, to shift, to adjust when weather changes or guest dynamics evolve.

Permits often require lead time (especially for national and state parks). The dreamy rentals you’re eyeing can book months in advance. And if you’re hoping for golden hour light or wildflower season, that takes planning, too.

More importantly, designing something that feels like you—not just something Pinterest-pretty—takes emotional bandwidth. You’re doing something different than what you’ve seen done before. That takes time, and it’s okay to give yourself that.

Myth #9: It Has to (Or Should) Be Cheap

Elopements aren’t about spending less—they’re about spending intentionally. You might invest the same amount as a traditional wedding, just differently. A private chef serving you a 5-course meal instead of catering for 75. Matching tattoos to commemorate the occasion instead of branded favors guests will never use again. A photographer who doubles as your planning partner.

This is your chance to spend money where it matters to you. Not on chair covers or plated dinners you don’t remember—but on moments and experiences that stay with you forever.

So no, elopements aren’t “cheap.” They’re just intentional. Every dollar, every detail, aligned with meaning—not optics.

Myth #10: It Won’t Feel Like a “Real Wedding”

One of my clients said:

And that’s the point.

A wedding isn’t real because of cake or an aisle or a big party. It’s real because you chose each other. Because you looked into your partner’s eyes and said, “I want to do life together.”

My own 18-guest wedding? We walked down the aisle together. My dress collected (almost) every fir needle from the forest floor. We ended the official part by 8pm and went out to dinner, just the two of us—tired and blissed out and deeply content.

And it felt more “real” than any Pinterest board could dream up, because we did it with intentionality, guided by what felt most true to us.

FAQs & Elopement Planning Advice

Q: How do we know if eloping is right for us?

Eloping tends to be a great fit for couples who value presence over performance. If you find yourselves saying things like “we just want it to be about us,” or “traditional weddings feel overwhelming,” or “we’d rather spend money on experiences than impressing people”—eloping might be calling your name.

You’re probably good candidates if you’ve been to (or in) weddings that felt more stressful than joyful, if you’re naturally private people, or if the idea of planning a big event makes you want to hide under a blanket.

On the flip side, if you’re energized by hosting large gatherings, if family traditions feel essential to your celebration, or if you’ve been dreaming of a big party since childhood, a traditional wedding might serve you better. The key question isn’t “what should we do?” but “what would feel most like us?”

Q: What if we don’t want to hike or we’re not outdoorsy?

No problem. Elopements can happen in cozy rentals, drive-up vistas, backyards, gardens, and even city rooftops. I’ve got recommendations aplenty for wherever your vision is headed.

And when it comes to experiencing nature—there are so many ways to feel connected to the outdoors without hiking or getting sweaty. Stargazing in a hot tub. Reading your vows under a grove of trees. Watching the tide roll in from a bluff you drove right up to.

Most of my couples opt for these lower-effort, high-impact environments. No backpacks or sore feet—just ease, beauty, and presence.

Q: What does a full-day elopement even look like?

Think: slow mornings with coffee and vow writing, afternoon adventures, sunset ceremonies, stargazing after a 5-course dinner. It’s a whole experience—not just “I do” and done. (A past couple later commented, “It felt like we were just living our life, and you were there to document it.”)

Q: Do we need a permit or legal stuff to elope outdoors?

Often, yes. National parks, state beaches, and certain public lands require wedding ceremony permits. But don’t worry—that’s part of what I help with and make you aware of. Alternatively, a skip-the-paperwork option is to complete that on private property (like your home rental) or take care of it ahead of time.

Q: What if my family doesn’t understand our decision to elope? / How do we handle pushback from family or friends?

You absolutely can elope without the full understanding or approval of every loved one. Start by grounding in your why. Why does this path feel right for you and your partner? When you’re clear on your intention, it becomes easier to communicate with clarity and compassion. You can acknowledge their feelings without changing your plans.

And remember: saying yes to what feels aligned on your wedding day doesn’t mean you love your family any less. It just means you’re honoring what your relationship needs most.

Q: Is it normal to feel nervous about doing something different?

Of course! In fact, I’d say it’s expected. Most couples I work with have never seen an elopement like the one they’re planning. There’s no template, no family blueprint, no checklist from Pinterest that fits. You’re doing something new—which means it’s natural to second-guess, to worry, to wonder: Are we allowed to do it this way? Are we doing it right?

I’m here to walk you through every step, every decision, every emotion that comes up along the way. You don’t have to figure it out alone.

Q: Can we include our pet(s)?

Yes—please! Including your pets (dogs, cats, and horses alike are welcome) in your elopement is not only allowed, it’s one of the most personal touches you can bring to the day, and I’m happy to help plan around logistics (think: pet-friendly locations, heat considerations, extra hands if needed).

And if your fur-child can’t be there in person? You can still honor them with custom vow books, a charm on your bouquet, or a favorite trail they’ve loved walking with you before.

Q: What if we don’t know exactly what we want yet?

That’s more than okay. You don’t need a fully formed vision to start planning your elopement—you just need a feeling you want to follow. As an elopement photographer who specializes in experience design, I’m here to help with the rest.

Most of my couples come to me with a vague “we just want something simple, meaningful, and us.” And by the time we get to the big day? It’s a fully fleshed-out experience that reflects who they are at every turn that they’re absolutely obsessed with.

Ready to Design a Day That’s Actually Yours?

Whether you want a simple beachside ceremony or a two-day forest retreat, your elopement should feel like the most meaningful version of your life together.

That’s what I help couples do: dream with intention, plan with ease, and remember it all forever.

Still wondering what a full elopement day actually looks like? I created something to help you visualize the possibilities.

👉 Grab my free Elopement Timelines PDF at the bottom of this page.

It’s packed with real-world examples of single- and multi-day elopement experiences: sunrise hikes, epic experiences, relaxed timelines, celebration weekends. So you can stop wondering—and start imagining.

You don’t have to follow the rules.
You don’t have to know everything yet.
You just have to be ready to create something true.

No matter how it looks, your elopement deserves to feel like a full, intentional wedding day—because it is.